healing – Site Title

Art, empath, encouragement, poetry, prophetic words, spirituality

Wound Sharp

The razor gleams amidst the shadows as a light shines forth from beyond. The intensity blocks this brightness from my vision. Even in the partial darkness I strain to visualize, an object appears to teeter on this razor’s edge. The object sways from one side to the other slightly, which way will it go? My eyes adjust to see what this is above the edge, it appears first circular. The light increases in its direction, occasionally shining from the side now. Each time it flashes across to reveal what the front looks like.

The front became apparent after a few flashes as a clock front with ancient looking Roman numerals and appearance. I can’t say how I understood the ancient look I saw exactly aside from the numerals. ‘A point in time’ I heard from beyond. ‘A point in time’ I heard even louder! ‘Grace has a cut off point, stiff necks break eventually.’ In the teetering I sense that the clock cannot go back anymore. It must fall forward, and you must go with it or be left behind.

I hear a phrase, ‘geo-positioning is taking place, align with it and set your future properly. The past is being cut off, a fresh clock is wound and being released in this season. I hear, ‘find the spot and release the clock.’

Art, love, poetry, spirituality

But first…LOVE A peek outside reminds us the throes of winter are still here. Winter is an essential part of the life cycle here in a Northern spot. It rebirths life each spring. In true love relationships such seasons may come and go also. We regularly seek to renew our first love with each other and Him. We are not automatic renewal beings. There will come a ‘winter time’ from which we must arise and come back to our first love (for a husband/wife and in Him).

My love, the essence of this home is foundational in our love for each other. Each day we beat our brains out accomplishing huge list of things for just that cause. We don’t do them just “because we have to”, but because it is foundational to the whole family. Our parents didn’t do it for any different reasons, they just may not have been as fully aware of the why’s and how’s of it all. We know well the issues of the homes we grew up in…the strengths and weaknesses, everything as a whole.

My beloved, the essence of My Church is built in a foundation of love in Me and to each other. Don’t kill yourself in My Name for the cause! You don’t just obey because you “have to”, but because you love Me. This is a house built on the Rock! I love you in all your strengths and weaknesses and I brought you up in a way to train you to hear Me.

I remember the earliest days of courtship how we were both caught up in wonder…knowing He really was bringing us together. From the outside it may not have looked as obvious, but we knew pretty quickly what He was bringing together. It will soon be 25 years since that first Memorial Day weekend. I won’t call it all a breeze, but I will say it is all cherished as great experience!

I remember the early days of accepting Him. I wasn’t one in awe and wonder. Rather, I was just wondering! He did give me a desire to follow Him and learn His Word. It was almost 20 years later He taught me about relationship with Holy Spirit! It isn’t far from another 20 and I cherish the years and seasons.

I came home from a conference one year a changed man. Certainly has not been without a rollercoaster ride or two, but He keeps bringing back to a renewed sense of His Holy Spirit explosion from there. That experience reset love in me. I believe it was a melding of my first loves….salvation and baptism of Holy Spirit. A renewal and new anointing to boot! It further allows me to write, which is of course the very foundation of my gifts. He has been busy on my poor heart, removing clutter, unbelief, and (non)essential cargo. He is showing me there is no reason to be distraught, angry, despondent, depressed, or any of the rest!! I just have to walk in it. “I create my world and walk in it!” is a quote I relate to. He has been showing me that in spite of myself, I can walk in it!!

He is calling us to come together in a big way (and we have been) for the kids, our marriage, and supporters of each other’s destinies. My love…I love back and look at how it all just makes sense why He chose us as partners. We are called to be great loving counterbalances to each other. As He puts renewal to my first loves for Him, He also increases them for us!!

He is calling US to come together in big ways for the Body, our betrothal to Him, and to support each other’s destinies. My beloved, I love you back as I chose you to partner with Me!

He is my truest love. I see why He has placed us in Him and with each other. He calls us to love Him above all else. He created mankind to love Him, a balance that no one can counter.

Uncategorized

CURSE TAKER

Have you ever felt a dark, heavy cloud hang over your life? A feeling that never totally goes… away? Maybe you’ve wondered if there is some type of curse or force working against you. The truth of it is, there is something to it! Often, I find myself unaware of what is actually happening around me. Inside I can feel things around the room or atmosphere I am in. Darkness and light both can be felt.

For some people, it is an unfortunate set of events that makes them feel this way: from health or deaths around them to just a drawing to dark things in general. For others, a subtle erosion from family dynamics, culture/environment, or taking on beliefs that lead you astray.

As I write I hear this: ‘Dark clouds are sent to bring storms into your life. They don’t come from someone who loves, but someone who hates! Even horror films are spiritual you know! Darkness lies and tells you a curse is yours to keep forever.’

I only know one way out of this cycle. I have seen a lot of people fail and be destroyed. Culturally, we are seeing it right now with people like Diddy as a current example. Ain’t here with a popular narrative. The only way out of curses and darkness, is to surrender to light. It all boils down to two forces, two sides of the coin. The only freedom I have ever seen someone possess is from the God of the Bible. On the other hand, the only problems and curses I have seen are from God’s enemy, the devil.

Going to do a deeper dive on all later, but if you are experiencing life in the following way, you can experience it in the opposite way!

I want you to take from all this I am describing a hope that is meant to be for every person. These are symptoms of curses (taken from Derek Prince series about curses):

Mental and emotional breakdown
Repeated/chronic sickness
Breakdown of family
Financial insufficiency
Accident prone
History of suicides or unnatural deaths

These are just some main examples. If you have any connection to what I am expressing above, you can receive hope in asking help from God. I experienced some of these issues in my life, and He was good to help me as I asked Him to.

burden bearing, empath, encouragement, love, spirituality, Uncategorized

Re;Pink

The first question that pops into my head in beginning this word bomb is ‘what REALLY is inner healing with God’? My friends and I may throw it around, but do trust me, many do not go around saying things like…’hey dude, how’s the inner healing rollin’ today?’ or…’let’s do some inner healing over some Starbucks’…or…try this on date night…’how about we work on some inner healing between dinner and the 8:30 movie?’. Somehow there must be a way He takes us to our need for it, a pathway, previously unseen opening before us like an open road adventure. ‘Honey, I’m not sure I’m feeling like an inner healing tonight!’

I think we have all been there before. The crossroads of tough decisions bearing down on us. I know I do this…I give it a good wrestling in my spirit man (as if he needs the exercise!), perhaps so God knows I am meaning business here! I have heard it said and I kind of chuckle whenever I hear it “God hasn’t fallen off the throne dealing with your little issue”. It is something conceptually I have learned about Him and I find true-He doesn’t grade on a curve, and there aren’t levels of severity. He is Lord over the big and small and that covers it all. Why the heck we get soooo worked up over a seemingly bigger problem goes well beyond the size of my head. Why is it so challenging for us pea brains to accept the power of victory that is right there?

I don’t know, just talking out loud here, but it seems that God does utilize some truth anyway from the phrase ‘desperate times call for…’. See, don’t even have to finish that one, we all know it. There is something to the desperate getting healed in the Word. I always see the obedience in it too. When Elijah shows up to ‘get help from the widow’ both their minds had to be racing a million miles a minute! ‘Oh sure, this ends well, I have to count on this widow feeding me her last meal instead of feeding her poor sons who are about to be property of someone else’. I am sure the widow’s mind is equally interesting…’ya, this guy is some prophet…but I better obey…but who does this? Comes in here asking to be fed first’. I guess that was more of an outer healing…Jesus had encounters with several that I would more determine the inner healing. The guy he freed of thousands of demons and sent them to seweycide…I would say that is a darn good inner healing-to go from gnashing of teeth, chains, etc, to testifying what Jesus did…that my friends is a good inner healing day!!!

What is it that takes our heart from a cold, black stone to a bright fleshly pink? A person can change a certain amount on their own. It is one thing to protect yourself from what’s happened in your life, to make good changes, and to separate yourself out. It requires supernatural assistance to have a genuine change in your heart. When Jesus was preparing to leave he said ‘I will leave you a helper’. The helper is the Holy Spirit. That is one of the many benefits of believing in Jesus. The Holy Spirit is there to help you live in victory, healing, and get free. I have heard a saying from some mentors in my life: the Holy Spirit is a gentleman, He comes when you ask. The unique thing about Christianity is the last shall be first. This means in this context that we must humble ourselves and surrender our baggage. If we were enough to start with, we would’ve already figured it out. He created a free will relationship that only works when we surrender and handed over to Him.

Bible, burden bearing, empath, encouragement, prophetic words, spirituality, Uncategorized

DIRECTIONAL-

BEARINGS TOWED

“You must operate from the redeemed depths of your heart and not rely on your senses and what comes to them first” is what I hear Him saying today. For these weeks He has been working on my heart, my gifting’s sensitivities, and the process thereof. I sense He is teaching me what to trust in, and surprise…it’s not my feelings! It has been absolute rollercoaster bedlam! A flood of different, often disparaging, ugly, emotions flowing each and every way. This round He has definitely been working on my emotional rebuild. The other rounds were emotional, but not the focal point. I had read from one writer about burden bearing it can be equally high as it is low, and the enemy can be pushing from two sides at the same time!

I am a sucker for quoting a song when it does better than I am trying to communicate. I have a true guy room where I pray each morning. All the objects around it represent my life well. One wall is filled with pictures of Israel with verses on them, two other walls are vinyl records and cd album cover papers and also old school Christian metal ads. The fourth wall is lined with shelves full of CDs and cassettes. I have several small tables stashed with items along the journey from vacations, travels, and sentimental stuff. Not to be forgotten…Notre Dame stuff! Faith, music, and sports have always been big parts of living for me. Others may travel and do the social game, but I am content hanging at the pad these days spending time with the Lord, and then sports and Spotify as hobbies. He has really thinned my over loaded lifestyle the past few years, of which I am very grateful. Why should we kill ourselves for enjoyment? I just wanted to paint the picture before I quoted the song, I thought it a good rabbit to follow a bit.

It was Memorial Day yesterday, and I was needing to clean up this room after an entire winter of remodeling the basement around it. The dust created in the remodel was obnoxious! We did lots of custom wood cuts for the ceiling and TV center, and there was dust heavy on everything! My little room is so packed full of trinkets, it was a chore. I found the job therapeutic to being alone a good portion of the day. I see great value in being alone for bits when you are a burden bearer. I am enjoying pulling out classics from the cassette collection yesterday. I am amazed how He does this, but He will minister in a song that I have known the lyrics to for 30 years. Well…1991…pushing 25 anyhow. Hear me, I don’t resemble the Dana Carvey cranky old man character from Saturday Night Live…”in my day we…and we liked it by golly!” This is the era of music when Nirvana was tearing it up on the scene. I never was a fan of the grunge stuff, but I did like Alternative rock heavily in those days. One such act was L.S.U. (Life Savers Underground)-essentially Michael Knott. I was living a roller coaster day and the Lord spoke to me through his song titled ‘Chucky’…”and he says “tell me why, tell me why God gave me such an endless drive to fill my cup but my cup stays dry oh tell me tell me”. I might substitute one word in those lyrics to better describe my point…instead of endless drive I might go with endless job.

I would describe having an endless job as my entire life at one point. My painting profession felt like a laborious endless job with no relief. My first house was an endless job of projects (built in 1865). My tendency is to see the burden bearing gift as an endless job! I know that is patently untrue, but it isn’t a gift people are even praying for…come on man! What He did with music this day was actually speak through another song on the way to the song I wanted to hear. The title track is what was sticking in my head before I ever fired up the cassette player. ‘This is the Healing’-

You’ve tried to philosophize your pain

But the hurts in your heart

And not in your brain

You could be hit by the Spirit

And be made new

You thought heaven was a place one goes to

But this heaven on earth is true

Chorus: This is the healing

Give me tears from all your bitter years

This is the healing

Salt the wounds, the healing will come soon

The Word document count was exactly at 777, how cool is that? Something He has impressed upon me these couple of weeks is to not focus just on what I sense and feel alone, or it can drive me crazy. There must always be a raising of us above the fray, us asking to see what He sees each step of the way. I am seeing just how much a dependent I truly am. I further see that I held back parts of me from Him in how I approached people and things in general. I see that we do try and give what we have, but if our hearts are incomplete in healing, we are offering up a partial gift to people and Him. I would say obey when He says to give the partial, I know He did with me. I honor obedience above most anything else. He shows us in this process that He is always after a better heart! You and I will spend our lives in that pursuit brothers and sisters! I never realized how deep and complicated the heart truly is.

I was all over yesterday emotionally from bearing/ too heavy/ to suddenly free…to angry and to puzzled. Even after a long day of riding, He suddenly dropped on my spirit and I felt a wonderful weight of His burden of light on me. I stopped dead in that spot and just soaked in it. He assured me everything is for the journey and for better understanding. If we don’t understand what is Him and what is us, how do we know what is pleasing to Him? The end of the day was wonderful in worship and wonder. It made all the other totally worth it. He is showing me it isn’t all necessary! I only have Him to depend on. When I overly focus on people, pleasing my family, my work, even my enjoyment…it all competes with His Presence, which is what we are wanting in our walk. The intimacy is what is missing from so many believers lives…period! If you’ve ever tried to hem in an animal that doesn’t want to be, you will understand the feeling I am describing here. We are often like a wild animal not wanting to be corralled, we run and strive after the wind thinking ‘we need, we need’… He knows how to constantly work at limiting our movement, but He wants us to listen to His voice in obedience. If you have ever worked with hogs you know what I mean! A hog is hard to stop when it has its’ mind made up and putting its’ weight behind it.

I am learning that the extreme emotional days do have a b.b. (burden bearing) purpose. One often finds this out at the end of a period. I have had this several times where I find out the pressure is coming from someone inside my inner circle. Living with the unknowns are fine for me, I like to leave some room for His mysteries and I think that is one thing that hinders some believer’s growth. We all have a fenced in area we have created for God, but the question always is…how far back are your fences you built? If we allow Him to be all He is, they are wide and rarely in sight. The b.b. has been coming during the day a lot, and when you are at work and going thru your day, it isn’t always easy for me to tune in to what needs burdened. I did have a friend tell me though….”it’s called multi-tasking brother”. Another friend uses a more harsh approach that his wife throws at him if he is being a whiner…”suck it up buttercup!”

This paragraph comes nearly two months later than the prior. It appears I have been busy in the learning process and a butt load of remodeling. I was remodeling in three places there for a while…too much to keep up with! I had two residents moving in the same week and plus my home project (which is still not done!). I am realizing the importance of gratitude in the journey. It must be a regular part of your walk and journey. We are blessed to be able to put every issue of our life before the Cross and work it out with Him, but how many of us are constantly gathering up new issues and bringing them in also? He has wired us to walk in balance, but it seems like so often God has been reduced to ‘the Complaint Department Chairman’.

I am seeing that true burden bearing is rarely our own weight. We are certainly required to bear our own as it says in Galatians, which is something some people try and place on others. They are therefore unhappy. I testify that the most alive I have felt in the last year is when He gave me assignments while focusing on others with a heart to help them. It not only fulfills my purpose (which will always involve taking my eyes off of me and my problems), but helps others who, believe it or not may have real problems! He is faithful to teach us balance and what is our duty and what is our own stuff (and not). The enemy will keep you busy and you have to be on alert for his tactics. We must keep in our spirit that the enemy has a job to do and none of that is God’s fault. He has to allow in our free will some things for us to deal with, but He is not the cause of anything that is not good. I think too many believers do not see the enemy as he is…a roaring lion. I know I often get through a circumstance and think “man, the enemy was all in this mess!” I see the balance of life is to not get stuck in the past, but to always be learning from it. God has no limitations and we are to be seeking to live that way, fighting through what the enemy tries to place on us (lies). The Lord is glorified when everything points back to Him.

Something that He led me to spend some serious time in yesterday was in giving thanks. There is weight that comes off your spirit when you spend time in gratitude to Him. I keep a simple file that I add to regularly (should do more!) and that not only helps me practice gratitude, it also allows me to save it for the years ahead and look at all He has done. I started the first one four years ago, and sometime if I am feeling down a little or need to see evidence of His hand at work, I can look back at the file. We are prone to embroiling our spirit man from one battle to the next. We are embroiled, but the goal is to rest in Him as He does war. All He actually asks for is obedience and the focus on Him. That is easy, right? If it was everybody would be doing it!!! Adam and Eve were distracted and little has changed in that department in these Millenniums since. It appears to me our hearts are continually restless and compartmentalized. What we think we want doesn’t come the way we thought it would. We respond to the feelings of not being in control. We test even His best gifts in our corrupted nature.

The goal in this point of my personal journey is to remain in His balance. The heavy stuff can last too long, and the good experiences feel fleetingly quick! In this process I feel zapped of energy often, but I know He is trying to show me how to renew. I know what I am, a feeler with an analytical mind (haha, the best of both freakin’ worlds!). That alone can keep you bound tight around a circle that seems never ending.

It is presently nearing Christmas of 2019, almost 3 years later! I am amazed at the speed of life sometimes. BB stuff is always apparent in people around me. I was at church last Friday night and heard a pastor telling about how he let people get to him at times. I see with my spiritual eyes, there are different types of people in the Body. The sensitive ones are mostly overlooked as just sensitive. While pastors have a Shepherd’s heart, they would rarely have a burden bearer’s heart. It is related but more involved. It is two days later and I perceive that it took extra time for me to even burden what was around me that night. I have a daily burden bearing I do, but at times He will grace me some more, knowing I can work it for the Glory of God! In my mind it may seem negative and foreboding, but I often learn I was not focused as to what He was doing.

The spiritual ‘work’ of burden bearing can drain you physically. It is just like any intercessor will tell you: there are times of great working in the Spirit that do take energy. It is one of the wonderful mysteries of the spirit realm. Most of the known healers you have heard or read about paid a physical price for the spiritual results! Not to mention many hours of prayer and guidance. Until the New Earth and Heavens, this war will be! Discerning when it is His Grace sharing a burden and when it is a deception from the enemy are the pivots to pray through.

Where the Word says, “My people suffer for a lack of knowledge…” is an understatement! There are so many needless spiritual distractions. God never intended for there to be so many different churches and belief systems. The enemy has been successful because each different church building requires money, resources, energy, people, etc.! All of that does not add to the Kingdom, it dilutes it. Unity is a tall order at this point, but it must go far as it can. That is a separate teaching unto itself! I see each of us carrying way too much baggage that is designed to dump ONLY in one place: the Cross. Before the Cross, there wasn’t a place, but a system of management.

When I carry a burden of another, the cares of this life, or even an unknown burden, the Cross is powerless to help us. In the very same way, the Blood of Jesus is power against the enemy! I have been in church after church without power. A nugget of Truth I heard in a sermon lately rings true also: ‘we must not try and see it with our natural man, but our spiritual man to perceive it.’ Consider all the things that can burden a human being down: health, spiritual war, concern for others, unmet needs, and so many more! Jesus wasn’t spouting a clever statement when He said in Matthew 11:30: “For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” It begs the question: Where is the dysfunction in the Body then? If He says it in red, why is it seemingly not easy and light in my life? I do not believe that any time period of life was easy and without challenges. I do believe we are intended to walk in ease and lightly burdened and not in heaviness! ‘He ain’t heavy, he’s my brother’ LOL!

Trust me when I say these questions are coming to me first for good old me! I always know His Word is absolutely true. Most believers who struggle with the Word being true do not use it well either. You can’t barely read a book that contains every answer to life and say it doesn’t have life. God has never changed and could not be wrong. Only our thinking about Him could be off. How many more atheists, unbelieving lawyers, etc have to set out to disprove the Bible and get saved do you need to hear about anyway? Holy cow Harey Carey! The more unbelief you blab all over to other people, the less you will be encouraged. Someone needed to read that!